My Awakening

Always wanting to be okay, even when you aren't okay can become a problem. What happens when you're hurt, and you're too busy trying to ignore that hurt to where no healing happens? Only masking. I would know, because I became a master at masking my pain,  my tears,  and my heart aches. Got so good at it,  that it started to happen on it's own subconsciously. I was so numb to things that would tear any normal person apart, they barely made me blink. Then again, what does it mean to be normal? Frankly, that scared me. For those that truly knew me, knew that I was extremely connected to my emotions. So to now feel nothing, broke my heart the most, and made me question myself. "What has happened to me to where I no longer can feel anything? And why does it hurt so bad to not feel what's hurting me?" It's the unknown that became scary. Not knowing the answers to my own questions, scared me. I was a ball of uncontrollable emotions that I was unable to express, let alone feel. For me, that was rock bottom. That was the beginning of my awakening.